Omphaloskepsis

You can thank Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for that gem of a post title. It simply means "naval-gazing". How cool is that?

Omphaloskepsis, the deed, is really cool too. It's something that I value highly from both a personal and social standpoint, because I think it makes a huge difference in how I treat others and how people interact generally.

Being aware of what I want and need and my gut reactions to all those things life throws at me unexpectedly has made me much more deliberate, careful, and genuine about how I relate to people. Deliberateness and carefulness might not sound like a good thing; passion is a cultural value, after all. But integrating passion with self-awareness has made me much more confident and open in my emotional expression.

I've seen so much hurt happen when people let fear and anger guide their decisions, and that's one of my chief motivations for all this navel-gazing. I really, really don't want to add to the pain and frustration in the world if I can help it.

One of my favorite examples comes from last semester, when a boy on whom I'd been crushing told me about his plans to ask another girl to be his girlfriend. Except that this forthrightness is unusual, it was very nearly a non-incident. I thanked him for his honesty and directness, and set about to get over the crush and develop our friendship. So simple! So much easier said than done!

Omphaloskepsis isn't without its challenges. I've been accused of over-analyzation on multiple occasions, and the accusations are true at least half the time. I often feel discouraged when others demonstrate a decided lack of self-awareness and respect for others, since I put so much effort into it myself. Then too, I'm human and I mess up far more often than I'd like. I try so hard, but that was never a guarantee of success. So, I try to keep a lid on my tendency to over-analyze, hope that by treating people well, I'll inspire some more gracious behavior in others, and apologize promptly when I do make a mistake.

That said, it's scary to approach people about any given bone of contention! So many times I've wished that I could forget about it, or run away... anything at all to not have to deal with the apprehension of having something unpleasant to say, or the fear of hurting someone. What I've found, though, is that the fear is usually worse than the doing, and that direct dealings cause far less pain than avoidance. I'm still practicing, and far from perfect, but it does get easier.